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411 on the Internet Date

Posted by HIM on Sunday May 10th, 2009

Here’s some tips to avoid disaster and disappointment when you’re dating and hooking up online.

Don’t meet without first seeing at least one photo. This is a cardinal rule – break it at your own peril. It’s even better to see several photos, and if they display as too small online, ask the guy to email his photos to you.

Look like the photos in your profile. There’s simply no excuse for using photos that show you as slimmer, younger, or that bear no resemblance to you as you are now. Show it like it is and you’ll be much less likely to be rejected. There are guys into all types, but nobody likes an unpleasant surprise. Consider showing several photos in your profile to show a range of looks.

Be realistic in your expectations. Viewing photos is never exactly the same as seeing someone in person. If a guy looks reasonably like his photos, consider yourself lucky and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Be specific. It’s easy to miss someone you’ve only ever seen in photos or on web cam. Pick a specific place to meet and tell your date what you’ll be wearing; don’t just say “I’ll meet you at the Davie St. Starbucks”, say “I’ll meet you outside the Davie Street entrance to the Starbucks on Davie at Thurlow. I’ll be wearing a blue tank top and tight white shorts.”

Be safe. Tell someone you trust where you’re going, consider logging your online chats to your computer (use a chat client instead of your web browser and check this option in the Settings menu). Think carefully about inviting someone into your home – anonymous hookups at your place can be hot, but there’s always a risk. Consider meeting at a coffee shop first or even on the corner near your building before inviting a guy into your home.

Keep it short. Don’t commit to a lengthy dinner date on a first meeting. A coffee and a walk by the beach takes 30 minutes and if you like each other, you can make further plans. If not, you’ve only lost half an hour of your life. If you’re hooking up for sex, be specific that it’s a brief encounter and not an all-nighter.

Be polite. There’s no rule against telling someone you’ve changed your mind or that “I’m sorry, this just isn’t going to work for me” (i.e. you’re not attracted to him). Go with your gut, but don’t stand someone up or be mean and hurtful, even if you feel the guy is not “as advertised”. If you feel a guy has blatantly misrepresented himself, point it out politely.

— David Szeryk
Originally written for Gaze published by Gayway

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