Social Health

I do not drink and I still have a good time

Posted by HIM on Thursday July 28th, 2011

I've flirted with sobriety numerous times.Recognizing that alcohol is bad for my mood, waistline, and wallet is easy.  Now, we've all woken one morning after and, with pounding head, espoused that we'd never drink again.  This isn't the kind of sobriety I am talking about, I'm talking about legitimate periods of my life where I have forsaken alcohol for months if not years at a time.

My friends don't ask questions when sobriety is in town, they just acknowledge that sometimes alcohol isn't for me and that for the next few months they'll have a designated driver.  When I'm not drinking I don't often miss it.  I never crave a drink, nor think that a bottle of wine will be just the thing to liven the party.

The only thing that bothers me about these periods of time, are when I go to visit my family.  It's not that I feel the overwhelming urge to drink when they're around, rather I dislike having to tell them that I'm not drinking now.  It prompts questions about why I'm not drinking.  They speculate, if not mock, what I possibly could have done which would drive me to take such drastic steps.  Drinking, to many in my family, is all but encouraged.

Indeed, I remember having my wisdom teeth out a few years ago and visiting them days later.  It seems neither dental surgery, nor painkillers, would prevent them from offering me a drink on more than one occasion.

I don't begrudge them really, it's just that no one likes to feel judged.

I bring this up because many gays, myself included, enjoy drinking; and with Pride looming, some may feel alienated because of their choices.  It's usually worsened because feelings of alienation may go unnoticed amongst the revelry at parties.  Not drinking at a party can ensure you're inhibitions are still keeping you from dancing or talking to that cute guy you met.

Fortunately there are a couple of ways you can play along without drinking anything.

Order a non-alcoholic drink and have it with you on the dance floor.  If you're not the most confident of dancer or feel self-conscious, having a drink with you has a number of advantages.  For one, no one likes being spilled on, so dancing with your drink will give you a reason to tone down your dance moves.  If you're feeling a little too self-conscious, carefully take a sip.  Not too much, just enough to give you a respite on the dance floor.  Plus, having a drink with you will help you blend in.
 
Act a little sloppy, after all, this is one of the few instances when doing it because everyone else is doing it, is allowed.  Delayed speech and incoherent answers won't be held against you or even noticed.  Just make sure you're not hamming it up too much.
 
Now those might not be the best way to be alcohol free, but in a pinch at a club they could keep you from making an early exit to the night thereby missing out that chance at that hot guy at the bar.  If your friend is someone who won't be drinking, make sure they're having fun – without asking if they're having fun all the time, that's irritating.  Don't pressure them and just make sure you don't abandon them on the sidelines while you go about your merriment.
 
So drink plenty of water, eat your vegetables, and have a happy Pride!

Or for a short list of events not centered around alcohol click here!

-Keith R

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