I Pick Up Online a Lot

Whether you’re looking for a date or a dark room, the internet is the way a lot of guys connect. The internet has made it easier for guys to find the kind of sex they want, with kinds of the guys they want. Since sex is so readily available, the temptation to indulge again and again may lead to an increase in the number of sexual partners. Remember, if you’re having sex with a lot of guys from the internet, there is no reason to think they aren’t doing the same.  Research (and common sense) tells us that the more partners you have, the more likely you are to pick up or pass on HIV or another STI. Before deciding on whether or not to use condoms, calculate your risk.

Reduce Your Risk


The best way to reduce the risk of picking up or passing on HIV is to use condoms during anal sex, particularly with guys whose HIV status you don’t know or are unsure of or with guys whose status is not the same as yours.

When using condoms, it is a good idea to use lube. Take your time; do not rush it! Rushed or aggressive anal sex can increase the likelihood of tears and other problems.


Knowing your HIV status and that of your partner will allow you to make decisions about how to best reduce sexual risk-taking (this requires regular HIV testing).

Limit Your Partners

Another way to reduce your risk is to limit your number of partners, or establish friends-with-benefits, or regular partners who you communicate with and trust.


Sometimes guys forget that semen can be on their hands or faces. Try not to get semen in your eyes. Using someone else’s semen as lube when you masturbate can also be risky. If a finger goes in your anus, make sure it doesn’t have someone else’s semen on it.

Harm Reduction (may be less risky, but not risk-free)

Guys reduce the spread of HIV in several other ways:

  • having less risky sex (hand jobs, oral sex, etc.)
  • sero-sorting (looking for partners with the same HIV status)
  • not ejaculating inside eachother (pulling out or withdrawal)
  • ensuring that both partners are free of other STIs by getting tested.


For poz guys, proper treatment adherence (taking medication regularly) impacts viral load, which also lowers the risk of passing on HIV.

Undetectable Viral Load

The BC Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS and other HIV/AIDS research institutions have found that the risk of HIV transmission for sero-discordant couples (one is positive, the other is negative) is very low if the HIV-positive partner is on treatment, has an undetectable viral load and is free of STIs.